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Antics in the Family

Chapter One


Some things you just can’t make up.


All families have these moments, precious memories and “you’ll-laugh-at-this-later” life moments.

I used to tell my sister Dale if she wasn’t careful she’d end up in one of my books/stories.


She wasn’t and she is.


Who led the Queen?


Un- progressive euchre....

We play Euchre one night a week. It started out as a way to visit with Dale after her first bout of “comatoseness.” Is that a word? Anyway, there are four, rather seven of us. For convenience sake I will give us all aliases…There is Trish and Pat, Patsy, Dale, Me, Hannah and Darlene. Phil and Chip usually show up when the snacks come out, but rarely play.


One more player and we could play Progressive Euchre… Just joking. Getting to seven was an interesting story.


Everyone had gathered at my Dad’s one Christmas Eve. I was in the kitchen mixing drinks and asked my husband to go in and find out what my sister Dale’s friend Pat wanted to drink. A few moments later he returned. “Trish will have some white wine.” he said.


“Who?” I countered.


“Trish,” he repeated.


“Who’s Trish?” I querried.


“Dale’s friend,” he said, looking at me like I was the one who was crazy…


“That’s Pat.” I patiently told him, wondering if now was the time to attach the little bells to his sweater.


“Not what she told me,” he claimed.


So I walked back into the room carrying her wine and laughingly said, “Alan thought you said your name was ‘Trish’.”


She took a sip then said, “It is.”


I guess I looked really bewildered because she went on to explain. “Thirty five years ago when I started working with your sister at the hospital someone introduced me as “Pat.” Dale has called me that ever since even when I explained to her over the years that my name is ‘Trish’.”


Okay so it isn’t me it’s Dale, again. We gave up trying to get it right at cards. It is hard enough to remember who dealt, what is trump and what is led, let alone names.


Then there is/are Hannah and Darlene. For twenty years Hannah went by her middle name, Darlene. Then one day she awoke and renamed herself Hannah. Her mom still calls her Darlene for heavens’ sake. My daughters call her Darhannah and Hannahdene. I call her Hannah and Darlene, whichever name pops into my head.


At cards I need to concentrate on the cards, not what anyone wants me to remember to call them.


Oh, and who are Phil and Chip you ask? Cats…of course.


Now what’s trump?




Delirium or Card Shark?


Playing cards tonight and I will indubitably lose. I would bet good money on it.


My sister Dale is always my partner. She says that’s just so I can ‘yell’ at her. Okay, we’ll go with that reason, but I have a few others. She’s a little less competitive by nature than I am. For example, she doesn't really care if we win or lose.


She just “enjoys the game,” she claims.


She does, however, get mad at me when I ‘yell’ at her when she nods off while dealing. Since the ‘naps’ are only short ones she doesn't understand what all the fuss is about...


The doctor did a myriad of tests on her to no avail. I guess that is a good thing because it ruled out all the biggies that could cause such behaviours such as brain tumours, dementia, Alzheimer's, stupidity ...


The list is endless.


Looking at some of her symptoms one could think she has a form of ‘delirium’. She is said to smell of sweat, late nights, sour wine, and old leather. Ooops, that’s Delirium of comic strip fame. Sorry Dale.❤


Just kidding, her symptoms actually rule out this as a diagnosis so we’re still looking for a cause.


This is like trying to find something lost and looking EVERYWHERE except where it is eventually found. The proverbial needle in a haystack.


Maybe it’s just a function of her altered sleep pattern… She tells me that she stays up almost all night so she isn’t lonely during the day. Her reasoning is if everyone is asleep at night they couldn’t be visiting her anyway so being alone isn’t so depressing. And then, of course, when it is daytime and they could visit but don’t, it is because jobs, school and other understandable but mundane things interfering. That is when she sleeps.


Evenings when we play cards is a dusk sort of space-time continuum for her…


Well only time will tell what tonight will bring. One thing’s for certain though, no one playing will let me use the air horn I bought especially for her…


My bet is that Chip and Phil wouldn’t much like it either (g)…(Dale’s cats)


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